Tuesday 4th November 2008

there is not a sufficient number of projection websites, and those that exist i cannot refresh often enough.


posted by mAtt @ 19.23 (gmt+0000)
to /1137/internet

Tuesday 25th March 2008

i have completed my questionablecontent.net bingeing; i did it all in one firefox session; firefox is now using 435k; i did it for science

#316 panel 3 is my life

posted by mAtt @ 0.00 (gmt+0000)
to /1137/geek/happiness/internet

Tuesday 5th December 2006

second mondays

i now understand that a tuesday is an illusion. what we instead have is a failure of monday to cease—effectively a second monday.

this particular second monday started very early with a dream. in this particular dream i was a close personal friend of elliott smith.

elliott smith, it turns out, is a regular guy. i know this because i lived next door to him, and we were mates. he had legos on his bedroom floor, fantasy books on his shelves, an old home-built computer on the desk, a playstation under the television, outdated glasses. a card-carrying geek, if so unimaginative an epithet may be ascribed. he had a set of utterly loving parents and a cat who knew her name.

of course, elliott smith is no longer living in the strictest sense of the word, though this didn't keep him from speaking with me throughout the dream. and listen when i say that he's just like me. in fact, all throughout the dream, he didn't say a single thing that i myself wouldn't have said, were i in his position. the entire experience was eerily similar to talking to myself. i know what this is like because i do it most of the time.

i've long given up on the theory that dreams mean anything, but think about it this way: a good novel is one that lies to tell you the truth.

i'm trying to say something here, i just don't know what. it's been quite a long time since i wrote directly about a dream because it's a pretty cheap source of words, invariably flippant, ridiculous, meaningless, and meritless. it should, then, be regarded as a telling thing when it is about just such a dream that i now write, after such a long hiatus*. exactly why it is telling i leave as an exercise for the reader (hint: there are multiple solutions).

*hiatus n. period of laziness. see also: respite, suspension, you have become a boring person

posted by mAtt @ 20.09 (gmt+0000)
to /insoluble/unhappiness

Tuesday 16th May 2006

sixteenth day of mai

the stereotypical mother asks, 'if your friends went and jumped off a bridge, would you jump too?' the correct answer (into which, by design, you are pigeonholed) is no. and today, dear stereotypical mother, i gave the correct answer to this very question. i chose looking at arcane words and symbols on a page over following friends off an actual bridge. you'd be so hypothetically proud.

also. remember how i listen to carefully crafted vibrations in the air? it's a thing i was doing today. and by random, the song 'mai' by loudermilk came on. it mentions, specifically, the sixteenth day of may. tell me itunes is not sentient. tell me! tell me! you lie.

posted by mAtt @ 17.08 (gmt+0000)
to /entertainment/happiness/humans/insoluble

Sunday 18th December 2005


so there's this person.

this person has a name that i occasionally see written down, a fantastically beautiful name. it's nothing i've ever heard before and it just flows in my mind. wind through tall grass, that sort of thing. i hope you can understand i can't actually write the name down here; instead, think of rainbows and butterflies and flowers, and put that all into letters until the letter combination sounds like a warm summer sunday morning.

it may not seem like it on the surface, but i'm a very passionate person.* so the logical thing to do was to develop an immediate and intense name crush on this girl.

and then when her name comes up again a few weeks later it turns out that she isn't a she.

rationally i know nothing would ever have come of it (and i wouldn't have wanted anything, to be sure; i'm happily married and you cannot have me, miss mr beautiful name), but psychologically it was very disappointing. odd, some things.

all i want for christmas is 184 front teeth. please help. no one should have to choose between memory and food.

*not really, but it makes the transition easier.

posted by mAtt @ 13.06 (gmt+0000)
to /happiness/insoluble

Tuesday 15th February 2005

you are not your pile of junk

we've completely moved. (but we have yet to finish moving in.)

every part of me is sore, I can't find anything I need, I didn't sleep well last night and niether did she, I'm not feeling well owing to having eaten only fast food and reconstituted pizza for the last week, my router ist kaput and I haven't yet explored all the ramifications of this, my fingers are rubbed raw from moving sandpaper-covered cardboard boxes from here to there and back again, and there was no room for the old couch in the new place.

but now I get to reorganize my entire collection of needless worldly goods. so it all works out in the end.

THOM YORKE please sing louder, the neighbors are pounding on the wall so clearly they cannot hear you well enough.

posted by antimAtt @ 11.47 (gmt+0000)
to /happiness/unhappiness/visibleman

Tuesday 7th December 2004


e6 3e c1 b0 dd 39 e0 e5 c1 dc 16 15 ff 7a 59 a1 8e cd ff cc 2a 5f b4 b3 1d 97 2c 62 7e 59 4b 8e
10 3e 5c 41 ce de 68 bf af 12 27 c2 85 81 ce fe ac 51 c0 87 91 74 11 ae 3b cf df 42 29 1a bc 55
8e 08 52 2c ea ad 5a c4 0a 51 2f d9 12 8c a0 0f ea a9 54 65 50 61 f9 7f b7 9c ad 3f 49 28 a5 ad
89 a8 52 d8 72 13 a9 e8 f6 49 f6 0b 8f bc 72 ad 19 9d 2e 31 48 b4 3f 9b 09 ca dd 60 6e 06 f0 5a
7f 87 6c 14 f1 cc f0 d5 19 fd 5a 6c 51 fa 33 d6 1e 4a 4f 93 0d b8 8e 77 c3 9e ac 38 40 09 a4 7f
93 a6 1f 82 b6 25 81 b2 aa d3 4e ed 3e e4 1b 59 94 2d 29 32 7f d7 77 5a 15 cb ea 2d 0c 7e e3 b4
b7 c6 4b 8d 77 c9 b4 bf fe 1c b0 23 07 0f 3e 23 5e 86 11 ba c7 4a 5b 33 eb 9e f5 68 ad 9a d8 cc
d2 38 e4 0b 99 87 35 30 16 1b 5c 33 90 54 b4 79 e5 45 60 22 e3 cf d7 8c 89 2f 63 8b 3c 07 15 4d
a7 9d 44 3b fc d0 82 1a 09 67 a0 3a d2 69 2d 74 fc 15 54 6e be d5 18 4e 40 5e 6a 79 cb 4e e2 65
b6 8d 9f 74 c9 3e b6 a6 81 a5 ed a4 53 e7 ad a9 52 dd 91 49 e0 93 1f ab f9 a0 63 1b 88 2a 7b d3
76 24 cf 8e 4b 12 f3 ff 32 26 4d af 9d 92 f4 c6 e8 ee 54 7f 8d 5a 5f 53 0e ee 9e e5 16 4c 34 a2
05 6f 9c f1 cb 04 06 6d 5f 27 61 0a 53 3e 63 08 0a e5 49 48 2c e9 59 03 11 9b 2f c4 92 1d 01 df
22 a4 24 f8 61 ca ec 86 81 78 08 a1 10 1e df b8 3a 7c 1a 39 1e 79 a3 c1 a5 c9 a1 54 5b 19 7f 68
e1 df 05 db 4b 24 b2 59 b9 85 ae 29 b5 18 45 da 41 63 86 af cd 03 d7 53 d6 23 b4 92 6c f7 c3 7c
9c e6 3c 9a eb 09 42 2a 1e 0c 72 3e 1a 60 45 03 0f 15 71 dc 5e 73 fb 3e 11 2b 42 5c 17 8e 87 ca
9b c9 c4 8e c2 61 22 d1 05 25 7c 9a 8e 23 31 2a d9 d4 40 98 d4 62 11 d4 14 26 bc 7f 3e 4a 64 1d
21 29 ec 92 ba ca e9 ab e4 24 c5 19 e7 ed 92 00 42 1f 2b 08 c7 eb 13 6a 6f 19 75 10 93 0d a1 fb
4a 1b 10 69 76 14 c5 b5 bd 38 26 fb a9 dc 1a e5 1f 55 79 37 ab 9b 0d d8 87 04 07 36 49 db ac bd
08 6b 30 f6 87 e2 b4 d5 64 9b c5 65 37 72 13 39 76 b9 b0 4e d7 be fc 48 e7 ec a5 52 ee c3 4e 81
f3 ab 60 9e eb cb c9 85 a6 87 c2 6b 0d c8 ed 6f 58 31 0c 6e b6 1b 76 52 49 c6 58 85 3b 38 bc af
26 6b e6 12 a5 b7 87 eb 8b 0f 79 5e ea a1 3d f7 7e 42 df d3 74 b2 fa bf 20 58 fc 7d ba e3 55 7d
06 af 7e 25 cf 8f ed 06 7a 03 90 a6 3c ff bd 2b b7 b8 b4 5b 52 ec 81 8a 74 28 3e cc bd 2c 5c b4
7d 6b 4e 41 02 04 3c 3b 08 6a 25 80 04 13 8b c9 2d fc cb 18 d9 f8 f9 25 c3 17 6e 3d 1a e3 0e bb
a2 a0 6a e4 e0 a0 0b fb 71 17 12 8d 30 69 32 97 6f c5 4d 2d 5b 6f d0 2d 47 93 83 5c 73 d8 a2 32
aa bc c1 12 c9 1d 87 a9 3c 87 52 a2 b8 ea 44 bc 26 b7 19 2c c0 22 8a 19 fb 22 1b 70 56 e7 c2 4a
d8 43 93 12 84 c8 7d cd 46 17 d6 20 db 31 0d 14 44 38 71 ad 64 c9 39 48 5c 6d 29 82 1d 12 52 86
d9 43 e3 89 4b 46 c0 db 11 58 62 31 62 04 b5 d9 f2 84 79 0d 8c 2b 44 b1 87 c3 b3 90 ec d3 9f db
8f b2 c8 49 4a 32 e4 d6 4a 0a 24 09 fb 76 5d cd 54 bc 7c 90 bd 47 6a c3 30 f3 75 80 d8 55 17 35
1a 86 20 21 bd 8c 4a 71 b1 2a 5f dd 7c a8 4f 2b e8 e5 32 ac 94 f2 fe f8 53 49 a0 c2 c4 14 68 cc
c3 d7 79 4f 64 ed 50 69 fa b4 03 d6 80 f1 79 e1 aa bd 89 a8 30 8b 38 4c cb f6 1d d4 c4 1b 33 66
ba 5a c7 45 91 e0 76 49 90 9b d4 a8 50 d1 66 7a 71 51 dc 32 be f6 1d 53 a2 ca 33 8f cd f2 dd f8
93 cf 0a a0 8e eb bb 1e 23 ab ae 25 3a 82 ae b9 71 e3 b4 59 6d 71 e2 a2 51 90 94 44 c4 b2 59 68

and on and on and on.

finally, I have found that on which all emotion is based:

a radio is tuned into a frequency where nobody is broadcasting. the atmospheric noise picked up by the receiver is fed into a workstation through the microphone port where it is sampled by a program as an eight bit mono signal at a frequency of 8khz. the upper seven bits of each sample are discarded immediately and the remaining bits are gathered and turned into a stream of bits with a high content of entropy. skew correction is performed on the bit stream, in order to ensure that there is an approximately even distribution of 0s and 1s.

the bit stream is converted into hexadecimal format and fed via VLF radio waves through the ether into the very lowest of brain centers, where it is interpreted by a process that doesn't understand either the input or what to do with it, as (due to an evolutionary oversight) it can only read binary. so it reverts to its error-handling code, which tells it simply to pass on the raw, unfiltered data to its supervising brain function.

this supervising brain function expects to get nicely filtered binary data with helpful multimedia metadata (such as the brain-equivalent of a powerpoint presentation with screeching tire noises and animated bullet icons)—when it gets raw numbers in .txt format, its central processor puzzles over the problem until it overheats and restarts.

upon rebooting, the same data is sitting in its little organic inbox. the first thing the supervising function does is to tackle the same workload again, only to hit the same problem of raw vs. filtered data. after encountering ongoing critical errors and rebooting repeatedly for a few minutes, the supervisor's hardware shorts out and fails completely.

with no central system to interpret and govern the incoming data, it streams in without guidance, passing and bouncing through the brain at random, messing everything up and knocking everything over.

this happens at a very young age; in fact it is not long after the formation of the emotion center that the emotion center unhappily dies. the sad truth of it all is that emotion is completely random and possibly even dangerous! your brainwaves, yea verily the very stuff of thought is threatened! sanity's only hope is the tinfoil hat.

posted by antimAtt @ 19.06 (gmt+0000)
to /geek/silliness/visibleman
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