Thursday 31st August 2006

pax, you make me sick

pax 2006 lived up to its hype. mad props to ted for dragging me kicking and screaming. the bad thing about it was, as i had expected, the permeating stench of twenty thousand nerds. yep: 20k. a grand score, if you will; slightly under a gross gross. NERDS sweat is not nature's shower, you all need to change your shirts.

what was it all about?

unreal tournament 2004: the standby classic. they wiped the floor with me. i am not as awesome as i have believed myself to be.

half-life 2 deathmatch: i've experienced the game proper but not the pvp aspect, and the challenge turned out to be trying to balance standard weapons with the gravity gun. the nerds were faster at switching weapons, and so they inevitably climbed to the top of the ladder.

lunch money: creepy balding guy, you enjoy talking about little girls far too much. you've stolen any possible enjoyment i could have found in that game.

fear: what's better than a first-person shooter? a first-person shooter that enables you to walk on the ceiling.

a nintendo ds in every hand: okay OKAY you nerds, you've convinced me; i need one.

bawls: i've tasted bawls now for the first and only time. someone should tell the nerds that bawls jokes are not funny.

clay wars: the enraged bear-shark did not survive the clay … thing … that attacked it. impossible, i say, for how does one sneak up on the bear-shark? he's got heads that look in antiparallel directions, plus it's, you know, it's enraged. that's gotta be worth something. it is in munchkin, anyway.

femme-nerds: oh geek girls, you do it for me every time.

however, one particularly virulent nerd decided to share a particularly virulent virus with me. i cough as i write this, i wheeze in my sleep, and i fill trash cans with tissues all day. there should be a law stating sickness precludes pax. the penalty is you must give me your ds. starting now. with you. nerd. insult to injury: every thursday is donut day at work. donuts have sugar. insult to insult: the chocolate cake made for someone's birthday. if hulk not eat sugary chocolate cake, no one eat sugary chocolate cake! HULK SMASH DELICIOUS CHOCOLATE CAKE

the bottom line: i drool in anticipation of the 2007 iteration. i might even take friday off and work on bear-shark 2.0.

posted by mAtt @ 21.17 (gmt+0000)
to /entertainment/geek/insoluble

Monday 15th May 2006

compromise, compromise

the wife finally consented to buying a surround sound receiver, on the condition that she could get something she wanted.

posted by mAtt @ 17.58 (gmt+0000)
to /happiness/insoluble

Monday 3rd April 2006

comicon, comicoff

this weekend in seattle i went deeply into the red in both personal spending money and wife-points, gleefully spending both on some very silly things at the fourthennial emerald city comicon. i picked up some neat comic books—ahem, i'm sorry, graphic novels—loaded up on free schwag, saw the penny arcade guys, unloaded the free schwag into my car and went back to the free schwag table for more free schwag.

stale nerd sweat
six-person descent
finally being the least nerdy person in the crowd
artwork more powerful than you can possibly imagine
gabe cursing at tycho, in real time
actual jedi

food. as happens all too often on the road, i wound up with too much fast food in my belly. fried food is not food. it's like yoda says: chew or chew not; there is no fry.

posted by mAtt @ 21.42 (gmt+0000)
to /entertainment/geek/happiness/insoluble

Sunday 18th December 2005


so there's this person.

this person has a name that i occasionally see written down, a fantastically beautiful name. it's nothing i've ever heard before and it just flows in my mind. wind through tall grass, that sort of thing. i hope you can understand i can't actually write the name down here; instead, think of rainbows and butterflies and flowers, and put that all into letters until the letter combination sounds like a warm summer sunday morning.

it may not seem like it on the surface, but i'm a very passionate person.* so the logical thing to do was to develop an immediate and intense name crush on this girl.

and then when her name comes up again a few weeks later it turns out that she isn't a she.

rationally i know nothing would ever have come of it (and i wouldn't have wanted anything, to be sure; i'm happily married and you cannot have me, miss mr beautiful name), but psychologically it was very disappointing. odd, some things.

all i want for christmas is 184 front teeth. please help. no one should have to choose between memory and food.

*not really, but it makes the transition easier.

posted by mAtt @ 13.06 (gmt+0000)
to /happiness/insoluble

Friday 2nd December 2005

you just absolutely have no clue whatsoever

it's seriously just this big. i've swallowed pills bigger than this thing. you turn it sideways and it completely disappears.


posted by mAtt @ 21.10 (gmt+0000)
to /geek/happiness/insoluble

Sunday 20th November 2005

well that's all over with

Thank Heaven! the crisis—
The danger is past,
And the lingering illness
Is over at last—
And the fever called "Living"
Is conquered at last.

Sadly, I know
I am shorn of my strength,
And no muscle I move
As I lie at full length—
But no matter!—I feel
I am better at length.

And I rest so composedly,
Now, in my bed
That any beholder
Might fancy me dead—
Might start at beholding me,
Thinking me dead.

(edgar allan poe, 'for annie')

unlike some certain lucky/skilled people i know, the results for me are in the air. i'll certainly survive failure, should it come to that; we're nothing if not utterly adaptable. what i might not survive is the interminable six- to eight-week waiting period between being examined and receiving the results. they'll arrive just in time for the christmas season to start getting really, really annoying (i.e. still weeks before christmas actually arrives), so the other thing i might not survive is having to divulge the results (and, by extension, having to explain just what in the hell an actuary does, for the n-thousandth time) to each family member i have. at least twice each.

actual downers

invader zim
plastic superheroes

(TED your once-proud phoenix will tremble before the onslaught of my shiny new veteran hypersonic superman and kingdom come shazam!, she would do well to turn tail and run)

posted by mAtt @ 1.00 (gmt+0000)
to /entertainment/happiness/insoluble/unhappiness

Saturday 22nd October 2005

be ye informed

an argument against drm. read it. read it!
(by way of)

on the agender today:
one. try to figure out why safari hoses my css. still.
two. try to figure out why i woke up at 7 something and actually felt awake. does that ever happen on a weekday?
three. drink tea. drink more tea.

posted by mAtt @ 7.45 (gmt+0000)
to /insoluble/internet/meta
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