Thursday 11th June 2009

what i learned in that place where i went

we say things like it's a small world without feeling their full meaning.

the world is small only in comparison with such things as the rest of the galaxy, which is itself only small in comparison with such things as the local supercluster. we're to the point in our development as a thinking species where we can observe objects that emitted some bits of light near the beginning of the universe, and the light is only now reaching us. and light is fast, dig? if my calculations are correct it takes light approximately one year to go one light-year; do you know how long it would take you, even taking the entire journey at the fastest speed any human has ever gone? beyond the scope of supercluster one could take two, maybe three meaningful (however gargantuan) steps up, and half a dozen or more on the way down. we live near the bottom, and on the scale to which we are accustomed, the world is pointedly—almost arrogantly—large.

thank you for following so far; it's important you understand where i'm coming from if you're to understand where i'm going. it's a matter of using the appropriate scale. though it's not saying much, the difference between (1) the immensity and permanence of the rock we're all floating on and (2) my own unimportance and brevity is more than the meat between my ears can process. and yet it is precisely this difference that made each bite of greek food, each sight of stacked ancient marble, each step taken on age-worn stone, each smile on the face of the girl i love—all so small when taken individually—so large when viewed through the lens of what i'm used to.

this is what i learned: we're each so small, and each so temporary, but because of this each moment and every inch we have just becomes that much more meaningful. where we are, everything matters except you. you are exactly as self-important as you think you are; it is just your scale that is wrong.

i'm sorry, what was your question? … 'how was greece?'

pretty frakking swell.

posted by mAtt @ 19.07 (gmt+0000)
to /composition/happiness

Thursday 5th February 2009

made of meat

this is a blatant re-post from facebook, because apparently (ahem) not all of you are there. your reasons are beyond me; and no, there's no reason to shout—you've explained them perfectly and i remember them all, i just happen to find them ludicrous.

if your time is valuable you can in good conscience stop halfway through. but i urge you, repeat, urge you, to watch all the way through. i know it will be difficult. you're impatient and youtube minutes are like dog years. but do yourself a favor. there is a secret prize at the end! (there is actually not.)

posted by mAtt @ 20.14 (gmt+0000)
to /entertainment/happiness/internet

Thursday 18th December 2008

quote of the

reproduced without permission.

am i happy? is that what you're asking me?

in my life i have seen faces i do not recognise. i have learned to swim. i have questioned the authority of my parents. i have screamed. i can quote shakespeare and blake and my mate simon from the pub.

i have had a shower on a train. i have stared into the sun and i eat salad and i have been where i wasn't supposed to go. i have said 'i love you' and honestly meant it. i have spilled my dinner.

i have fallen over in front of people; i have worn inappropriate clothing. i have had to be pulled away from hitting on a friend's mum. i have mourned the loss of someone i knew and admired the courage of.

i use words i don't understand. i have seen snow and sand and lived on a boat and been beaten up by someone i didn't know. i have acted in films; and i have been someone's favourite person in the whole world. i know why the sky is blue and i once deliberately set fire to the carpet of the room i was in at the time.

i have been beaten, i have drawn, and i have won. i have been moved to tears by music and i never wanted to let her go. i have let people down and i have pulled through; i have pushed someone in anger and i am a good backgammon player.

some say i have everything going for me. i am twenty-two years old; i am defined by everything i have ever experienced.

so if that's what you're asking me i don't know. but i'm never going to be anyone else, and that's fine. don't worry if things are different to how they used to be. today i made someone smile. that's my ambition for tomorrow, too.

posted by mAtt @ 18.44 (gmt+0000)
to /hatelife/humans

Thursday 31st May 2007

i don't deserve my dreams

any fool with a map can see the two masses would fit together perfectly—but for the ocean between them.

posted by mAtt @ 23.06 (gmt+0000)
to /insoluble/unhappiness

Thursday 1st December 2005

ten (or so) things

fun memes are fun.

ten things i once quite liked but don't much care for now:
1. television
2. hotmail
3. proper capitalization
4. *mart
5. dinosaurs
6. e-cards
7. cell phones/ringtones
8. grade school, then high school, then college
9. winter (yes, even christmas)
10. horrible music

ten things i once didn't like but quite like now:
1. politics
2. tea; certain species of coffee
3. dissenting opinions
4. apple
5. npr
6. eminem
7. girls
8. pens
9. heroclix
10. the star wars prequels

ten things i've never quite liked and likely never will:
1. licorice
2. the sound of metal hangars on metal racks
3. commercials
4. extremism
5. waste
6. onions
7. country music
8. champagne
9. michael jackson
10. insomnia

ten things i've always quite liked and likely always will:
1. histories of war (esp. second world war tactics and the third reich)
2. being left alone
3. backrubs
4. organizing
5. reading and writing
6. a good sweatshirt
7. foolish excessive computer gadgetry
8. strategery games
9. sweets
10. staying up, sleeping in (often caused by one of the above)

tag; you're it.

anyway. i hope that in posting this, it'll get me back into the habit. how many entries were there last month? ouch. i've let you down.

and rabbit rabbit.

posted by mAtt @ 7.48 (gmt+0000)
to /happiness/insoluble

Tuesday 2nd August 2005

sunday bloody sunday

what is the worst day of the week? survey says sunday.

check that link out. it's a really interesting and concise read into why sundays are so consistently awful. it made me consciously think about it for the first time. i particularly liked the bit about why so-and-so likes thursday best: 'because then he can still anticipate the weekend before the clock has started running on it.' for me, the best part about this weekend's manly camping trip will be the car ride up: music, friends, the surety of freedom and charred food and cameraderie.

perhaps this is why i start so many projects but finish so few of them. after all, who wants to go on with something after it loses its luster and gets difficult? i hope this doesn't mean i'm becoming an idealist in my old age.

posted by antimAtt @ 21.19 (gmt+0000)
to /internet/unhappiness/visibleman

Thursday 23rd December 2004

'tis the season to be easily offended

it's never the majority; it's always the vocal minority.
(no) more on that later.

the really truly hard-liners of the denomination I nominally belong to think catholics are the beast that will devour the earth in the end times and that we shouldn't have anything to do with them—as in, we shouldn't speak to them, look at them, shouldn't use words that they use, and on and sodding on. in this xenophobic spirit, therefore, I want to wish you all a merry Christ-x.

if I wanted to be simultaneously politically correct and remain neutral with respect to tradition and culture and belief I'd wish you all a merry x-x.

but that's just lame. so: happy second day after solstice, everyone, and good luck in the arbitrarily-begun new year. unless you're chinese, in which case happy, uh, shiny, lucky … golden … dragon? SOMEONE POLITICALLY CORRECT ME PLEASE

happy whatever, weenies.

posted by antimAtt @ 8.32 (gmt+0000)
to /silliness/visibleman
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