Wednesday 15th February 2012

and that's how i became a man

it is obvious to the observer that my blog presence is on the fast track—slow track? i cannot decide which—to obsolete irrelevance. i offer as evidence the distance between this entry and the prior.

perhaps ironically, the largest contributing factor is an electronic enabler they call "iphone." it's easier now to examine the dark tapestry that is the internet. but since those tiny virtual keys are just so darned hard to press with the precision you know i love, adding new weaves is just that much more difficult.

desks are so 2009½.

other obviously minor factors include (but are not limited to): a certain wee fleshling, being a breadwinner/baconbringer, a thing that increasingly seems not meant to be, twitter, and updating my xfn with a couple of 'met' tags.


i've been told this: when you are telling a story and can sense that you're losing your audience's attention, you should cut your losses: stop talking exactly where you are, and finish by saying "…and then i found twenty dollars."


…and then i found twenty dollars


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Saturday 18th July 2009

hey we found your incomprehensible shroom journal

so! whilst we were lost in the wilderness of the eastern oregon blue mountains, on a fool's errand sometimes referred to as 'geocaching,' we came across a truly interesting cache indeed.

not the cache we had set out to find, mind you. the locations to which the satellites directed us were respectively 1) a copse empty of everything except ants and scrub and various droppings, and 2) unreachable except perhaps by helicopter. so that bit didn't pan out as we had planned. but it's hard to imagine finding something more interesting, or stranger, than what we did find out there: the journal you kept and wrote in during those periods of time when your mind was so dissociated from itself that it may as well have been dictated by the actual invisible pink unicorn.

enough of my rambling. i'll let the best of yours speak for itself:





it goes on.


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Thursday 5th February 2009

made of meat

this is a blatant re-post from facebook, because apparently (ahem) not all of you are there. your reasons are beyond me; and no, there's no reason to shout—you've explained them perfectly and i remember them all, i just happen to find them ludicrous.





if your time is valuable you can in good conscience stop halfway through. but i urge you, repeat, urge you, to watch all the way through. i know it will be difficult. you're impatient and youtube minutes are like dog years. but do yourself a favor. there is a secret prize at the end! (there is actually not.)


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Thursday 18th December 2008

quote of the

reproduced without permission.


am i happy? is that what you're asking me?

in my life i have seen faces i do not recognise. i have learned to swim. i have questioned the authority of my parents. i have screamed. i can quote shakespeare and blake and my mate simon from the pub.

i have had a shower on a train. i have stared into the sun and i eat salad and i have been where i wasn't supposed to go. i have said 'i love you' and honestly meant it. i have spilled my dinner.

i have fallen over in front of people; i have worn inappropriate clothing. i have had to be pulled away from hitting on a friend's mum. i have mourned the loss of someone i knew and admired the courage of.

i use words i don't understand. i have seen snow and sand and lived on a boat and been beaten up by someone i didn't know. i have acted in films; and i have been someone's favourite person in the whole world. i know why the sky is blue and i once deliberately set fire to the carpet of the room i was in at the time.

i have been beaten, i have drawn, and i have won. i have been moved to tears by music and i never wanted to let her go. i have let people down and i have pulled through; i have pushed someone in anger and i am a good backgammon player.

some say i have everything going for me. i am twenty-two years old; i am defined by everything i have ever experienced.

so if that's what you're asking me i don't know. but i'm never going to be anyone else, and that's fine. don't worry if things are different to how they used to be. today i made someone smile. that's my ambition for tomorrow, too.


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Friday 22nd August 2008

i look around, i look around. i see a lot of new faces.

[laughter]

shut up! which means a lot of you have been breakin the first two rules of fight club. man, i see in fight club the strongest and smartest men who have ever lived. i see all this potential, and i see it squandered. god damn it, an entire generation pumping gas, waiting tables, slaves with white collars. advertising has us chasing cars and clothes, working jobs we hate so we can buy shit that we don't need. we're the middle children of history, man: no purpose or place. we have no great war, no great depression. our great war is a spiritual war. our great depression is our lives. we've all been raised on television to believe that one day we'd all be millionaires and movie gods and rock stars. but we won't; and we're slowly learning that fact. and we're very, very pissed off.


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Monday 12th September 2005

epiphany

(with respect to the preceding entry)

if they mess with us
if we think they might mess with us
if we say they might mess with us
if we think we need a war
we need a war

(fischerspooner)


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Sunday 4th April 2004

fft wrd fctn

whittling. this was becoming an obsession, to put it mildly: he began to wonder if treasured memories and peak experiences could be alchemistically distilled into fifty words. might it be possible to shoehorn an entire life's story into one of those tiny little boxes?

the answer, of course, was no.


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