john mccain (via email): 'all the polls are tightening! we haz teh chance for victory ftw lol! p.s. please give us a lot of money, we're starving.'
[http://www.gallup.com/poll/111679/Gallup-Daily-Obamas-Lead-Widens-Some-All-Bases.aspx]
oh johnny, i can cherry-pick just as well as you. (if the state of denial had 270 electoral votes, you might have had a shot.)
you've heard about this stuff, this debate stuff. you hear it's pretty popular. this friend tells you to try it. you're given to peer pressure and you don't want to put this friend off, so you do try it. hot damn! you love the debate. it makes you all floaty and warm! during the debate nothing matters, everything is fantastic, no cares in the world. the debate ends and your eyeballs begin to itch. you do not like not having the debate. you are irritable, you want more debate, you go everywhere looking for more debate, just one more debate. you find some more on the internet but it's not as good as the original. then there's another debate! you relish the feeling! you're on top of the world. when you come to, you are running naked down main street at four in the morning. weeping, your mother bails you out. the judge sentences you to debate rehab. you fight though the paparazzi. three months later you become a spokesperson for the partnership for a debate-free america.
another onion headline from my own imaginary future:
mccain campaign releases ad linking tina fey to terrorists, mafia, illuminati, o.j. simpson
overheard @pax:
'pax is like disneyland, where every ride is wil wheaton. … please keep your head and arms inside wil wheaton at all times.'
in which i briefly (and numerically) love george lucas:
http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=fyX0LK_t_G8
