Monday 28th December 2009

on the fifteenth day of guy-love

the world was on fire
no one could save me but you
strange what desire will make foolish people do
i never dreamed that i'd meet somebody like you
and i never dreamed that i'd lose somebody like you

no, i don't want to fall in love
no, i don't want to fall in love
with hoth
with hoth

what a wicked game you play
to make me feel this way
what a wicked thing to do
to let me dream of you
what a wicked thing to say
you never felt this way
what a wicked thing to do
to make me dream of you
and i don't wanna fall in love
and i don't wanna fall in love
with hoth

world was on fire
no one could save me but you
strange what desire will make foolish people do
i never dreamed that i'd love somebody like you
i never dreamed that i'd lose somebody like you

no i don't wanna fall in love
no i don't wanna fall in love
with hoth

nobody loves no one


posted by mAtt @ 23.01 (gmt+0000)
to /humans/silliness
tagged

Tuesday 15th December 2009

on the second day of guy-love

every night in my dreams
i see hoss
i feel hoss
that is how i know hoss goes on

far across the distance
and spaces between us
hoss has come to show hoss goes on

near, far, wherever hoss are
i believe that the heart does go on
once more hoss opens the door
and you're here in my heart
and my heart will go on and on

love can touch us one time
and last for a lifetime
and never go till we're gone

love was when i loved hoss
one true time i hold to
in my life we'll always go on

near, far, wherever hoss are
i believe that the heart does go on
once more hoss opens the door
and you're here in my heart
and my heart will go on and on

you're here, there's nothing i fear,
and i know that my heart will go on
we'll stay forever this way
hoss are safe in my heart
and my heart will go on and on


posted by mAtt @ 21.52 (gmt+0000)
to /humans/silliness
tagged

Monday 14th December 2009

on the first day of guy-love

probably exactly one person in the world will appreciate this, or my next [small integer] posts. but that's okay; in fact that's rather the point.

ahem.


she was more like a beauty queen from a movie scene
i said don't mind, but what do you mean i am the one
who will dance on the floor in the round
she said i am the one, who will dance on the floor in the round

she told me her name was hoss reinsteen, as she caused a scene
then every head turned with eyes that dreamed of being the one
who will dance on the floor in the round

people always told me be careful of what you do
and don't go around breaking young girls' hearts
and mother always told me be careful of who you love
and be careful of what you do 'cause the lie becomes the truth

hoss reinsteen is not my lover
she's just a girl who claims that i am the one
but the kid is not my son
she says i am the one, but the kid is not my son

for forty days and for forty nights
the law was on her side
but who can stand when she's in demand
her schemes and plans
'cause we danced on the floor in the round
so take my strong advice, just remember to always think twice

she told my baby we'd danced till three, then she looked at me
then showed a photo my baby cried his eyes were like mine
'cause we danced on the floor in the round, baby

people always told me be careful of what you do
and don't go around breaking young girls' hearts
she came and stood right by me
then the smell of sweet perfume
this happened much too soon
she called me to her room

(chorus)


posted by mAtt @ 21.09 (gmt+0000)
to /humans/silliness
tagged

Thursday 30th April 2009

i love my company

from the q1 earnings report, released yesterday:

"Factors which could cause actual results to differ materially include, but are not limited to: unicorns; the credit risks of lending activities, including changes in the level and trend of loan delinquencies and write-offs; changes in general economic conditions, either nationally or in our market areas; changes in the levels of general interest rates, deposit interest rates, our net interest margin and funding sources; swine flu; wombat flu; wombat fu; fluctuations in the demand for loans, the number of unsold homes and other properties and fluctuations in real estate values in our market areas; results of examinations of us by the Board of Governors of the Federal Reserve System and our bank subsidiaries by the Federal Deposit Insurance Corporation, the Washington State Department of Financial institutions, Division of Banks or other regulatory authorities, including the possibility that any such regulatory authority may, among other things, require us to increase our reserve for loan losses or to write-down assets; zombie uprising(s); fluctuations in agricultural commodity prices, crop yields and weather conditions; our ability to control operating costs and expenses; our ability to implement our branch expansion strategy; your stupid face; our ability to successfully integrate any assets, liabilities, customers, systems, and management personnel we have acquired or may in the future acquire into our operations and our ability to realize related revenue synergies and cost savings within expected time frames and any goodwill charges related thereto; our ability to manage loan delinquency rates; our ability to retain key members of our senior management team; costs and effects of litigation, including settlements and judgments; increased competitive pressures among financial services companies; changes in consumer spending, borrowing and savings habits; legislative or regulatory changes that adversely affect our business; adverse changes in the securities markets; inability of key third-party providers to perform their obligations to us; changes in accounting policies and practices, as may be adopted by the financial institution regulatory agencies or the Financial Accounting Standards Board; war or terrorist activities, including cylon attack and/or occupation; other economic, competitive, governmental, regulatory, and technological factors affecting our operations, pricing, products and services; ninja wombats; ted's mom; and other risks."

(i do not, however, love the world's lawyerese culture.)


posted by mAtt @ 16.23 (gmt+0000)
to /silliness
tagged

Thursday 5th February 2009

made of meat

this is a blatant re-post from facebook, because apparently (ahem) not all of you are there. your reasons are beyond me; and no, there's no reason to shout—you've explained them perfectly and i remember them all, i just happen to find them ludicrous.





if your time is valuable you can in good conscience stop halfway through. but i urge you, repeat, urge you, to watch all the way through. i know it will be difficult. you're impatient and youtube minutes are like dog years. but do yourself a favor. there is a secret prize at the end! (there is actually not.)


posted by mAtt @ 20.14 (gmt+0000)
to /entertainment/happiness/internet
tagged

Sunday 11th January 2009

the annual company christmas party

ahem. below is a mini-post i had saved back in my insoluble.net days, but had a crisis of conscience (and of employment) about publishing, so it never saw the light of day. it survived The Great Darkness Between The Blogs, and thusly i am able to present it to you now, in all its minimal majesty:

people attending: hundreds
alcohol units consumed: thousands
alcohol units consumed by me: 0.1
alcohol units needed to have enjoyed the band: n
alcohol units needed to kill an adult horse: n+1


posted by mAtt @ 21.05 (gmt+0000)
to /happiness/insoluble
tagged

Thursday 11th December 2008

when i unzip a particular pair of my dress pants, the sound is that of the intro to 'feel good inc' by the gorillaz.

do you understand what i'm saying? do you really?

EVERY TIME I DROP MY PANTS, SOMEONE LAUGHS AT ME


posted by mAtt @ 20.49 (gmt+0000)
to /1137/silliness/unhappiness
tagged
older posts. »
 



Fatal error: Call to undefined function home_url() in /home/antimatt/public_html/wp-content/mu-plugins/endurance-page-cache.php on line 287