Monday 16th October 2006

the next item on my future list of things i never did

okay, hold me to this one:

my plan is to find a suitable hypno-meditation track, slice it up into very small bits, then rearrange the bits into ridiculous hilarity.


i've already downloaded a couple to get me started:

deepak chopra - stop procrastinating and start speed reading all of deepak chopra's books.mp3

reiki - sounds of nature - kittens falling on cedars.mp3

alan greenspan - the_resolution_of_our_current_account_deficit_and_household_debt_
burdens_does_not_strike_me_as_overly_worrisome_but_that_is_certainly_not_the_case_for_
our_fiscal_deficit_which_according_to_the_congressional_budget_office_will_rise_significantly_
as_the_baby_boomers_start_to_retire_in_2008_our_fiscal_prospects_are_in_my_judgment_a_
significant_obstacle_to_long_term_stability_because_the_budget_deficit_is_not_readily_subject_
to_correction_by_market_forces_that_stabilize_other_imbalances_(ADVANCE)_BY_M@ddog.mp3


the internet is our collective muse.


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Wednesday 18th January 2006

who are these people?

thanks and curses to my beautiful sister for this one.

i am the medium-sized person dressed in foolish garb



the 80s only had about an 83% survival rate. just forget that weird head thing three posts ago; think about that.


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Sunday 18th December 2005

buggrit

so there's this person.

this person has a name that i occasionally see written down, a fantastically beautiful name. it's nothing i've ever heard before and it just flows in my mind. wind through tall grass, that sort of thing. i hope you can understand i can't actually write the name down here; instead, think of rainbows and butterflies and flowers, and put that all into letters until the letter combination sounds like a warm summer sunday morning.

it may not seem like it on the surface, but i'm a very passionate person.* so the logical thing to do was to develop an immediate and intense name crush on this girl.

and then when her name comes up again a few weeks later it turns out that she isn't a she.

rationally i know nothing would ever have come of it (and i wouldn't have wanted anything, to be sure; i'm happily married and you cannot have me, miss mr beautiful name), but psychologically it was very disappointing. odd, some things.


all i want for christmas is 184 front teeth. please help. no one should have to choose between memory and food.



*not really, but it makes the transition easier.


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Tuesday 20th September 2005

like vaporware, only for bad art

i'm going to have a webcomic. it is my dream. you cannot stop me.

i'm working out how to reproduce the effects of certain other comics i frequent without precisely replicating them. inspiration is a slippery thing at best, and plagiarism is a felony at worst. i'm also working out a publishing schedule that will be satisfying for the reader and reasonable for the author, this being a busy time of year for me. we'll see. i will, of course, be updating you as information becomes available.

and before certain seeds take root in your mind, know that a) feedback will be smiled upon, patted on the head, and sent to bed with no supper, and b) outright suggestions will be squashed with the collective enthusiasm of a billion red chinese.

squashed
quashed
uashed
ashed
shed
hed
ed
d


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Friday 8th April 2005

WHAT IS WRONG WITH THE INTERNET

here's something creepy. do a google image search for gang-sines (the popular drew drawing), and the first result you will see is nothing unexpected.

that is, until you examine the url or click the link. it is this site, and I don't know why. not at all.

so to repeat the sentiments expressed so loudly in the title of this post, WHAT IS WRONG WITH THE INTERNET? I'm serious here. this is creeping me out. google is supposed to be flawless and infallible, and they're not. in a really strange way.

(speaking of really strange: this is)


DREW only your wisdom can shine through these dark times, we require that you tell us just what in the hell is going on.


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