Sunday 4th January 2009

cold, and hot

fun fact: the waiting list for denver broncos season tickets is ridiculous, so my apologies to the wife but it looks like your birthday/x-mas presents for at least the next decade will continue not to jump the shark. unless we get in on a wild card berth! which doesn't actually exist, so there we are.

of course, this year's were not so bad, but not so good as to leave no room for improvement.

also! three cheers and a tally-ho for friends' free hot tub! ask him (or his personal financial assistant) how much this 'free' actually costs. go on, i dare you.


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Friday 22nd August 2008

i look around, i look around. i see a lot of new faces.

[laughter]

shut up! which means a lot of you have been breakin the first two rules of fight club. man, i see in fight club the strongest and smartest men who have ever lived. i see all this potential, and i see it squandered. god damn it, an entire generation pumping gas, waiting tables, slaves with white collars. advertising has us chasing cars and clothes, working jobs we hate so we can buy shit that we don't need. we're the middle children of history, man: no purpose or place. we have no great war, no great depression. our great war is a spiritual war. our great depression is our lives. we've all been raised on television to believe that one day we'd all be millionaires and movie gods and rock stars. but we won't; and we're slowly learning that fact. and we're very, very pissed off.


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Sunday 13th August 2006

i get no reading; are you sure?

admiral, we have enemy ships, sector 47!

(2000's fads become 2001's establishments; c'est la net.)


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Wednesday 2nd August 2006

quite often, actually

sometimes i have bad dreams about scary things. of course nothing like this has happened and if it ever does it will give me an incredible feeling of importance.


n-e-g-l-e-c-t; find out what it means to me. i apologize most justifiedly for being absent for so relatively long. it is my plan to make it up to you. but as i've said before and will inevitably say again, a plan is just a list of things that will go wrong.

unintended victory of the day: quadrilaterals, circles, triangles. shapes on a plane. dig it; it's a homonym.


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Tuesday 21st February 2006

synesthesia

occasionally i'll look sequentially at carefully patterned ink on piles of paper held together with glue at one common edge. occasionally i'll shine a laser onto spinning plastic and metal disks and turn the reflection into sound and hear it.

whenever i do either i create some sort of meaning from the sensory input.

occasionally i'll do both simultaneously and the meaning gets all tangled in my head so that later when i encounter the patterns of one i'll inevitably recall the other without regard for its relevance at that particular time.


i have brilliant examples, roughly sorted by date read:

jurassic park: jon secada
2001 series: lost world soundtrack
the rama series: u2
the stand: nirvana
1984: the cranberries
atonement: fischerspooner
the dark tower series: in various places, out of africa soundtrack, future sound of london, beck, bad company, moby


and the input is not necessarily linked to books and music. it could as easily be location and music, and often is, viz.:

my honeymoon: muse
the dormitory in which i spent my fourth year of college: audioslave
the shitty basement apartment where i spent the first third of my fifth: the flaming lips
the road: always beck, always to the dismay of my wife



since i have you here, i feel the need to direct your attention to the most powerful weapon in my geek arsenal. oh how i love to analyze data, and, in the process, to be analyzed.


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Friday 13th January 2006

phriday night physics

consider a falling body. human body.

let it be given the body falls for 7.0×10¹s. approximate the acceleration due to gravity (at g = 9.8 m/s²) to ignore air resistance until reaching terminal velocity of 195 km/h, or equivalently 54.16_m/s. from v = gt, we have 5.52 s of freefall in this manner. from d=(gt²)/2 this yields d = 149.7 m.

we have 64.48 s left. from d = vt, where v is terminal velocity defined above, d = 3492.6_. this gives us a total distance fallen in 70 seconds of 3642 m, or (for the non-metrically minded) 2.263 miles. we report two significant digits.

so gandalf fell 2.3 miles.


this is what i get for working in a place where the jokes involve redundant light bulbs and hot-swappable trash cans. i get freaking awesome, that's what i get.


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Monday 1st August 2005

i am a redundant array of independent dorks

the new hard drive arrived wednesday. life was good for ten minutes, then everything went downhill.

as usual i'll tell you what i mean. a) serial ata hard drives have a different power adapter from normal ide hard drives, and b) the proper power connection did not ship with the drive. so i had to find my own $4 adapter to make it work. fun fact: no one in town knows what a serial ata power adapter is. no one, that is, except the obscure little store at the edge of the desert. this is like the kinky fetish outlet of computer hardware stores. and it took me two days to find it because i'm not into kinky computer fetishes. fine, super, hard drive has power.

unplug old hard drives; plug in shiny new hard drive. insert operating system cd. 'dear user: you don't have any hard drives attached.' riiight.

kick spouse off the laptop; access internet; google 'maxtor serial ata hard drive windows xp setup'. fine, super, windows doesn't natively recognize serial ata hard drives. google for sata drivers, download sata drivers. realize floppy drives haven't been required since mid-1990s. snatch spouse's external usb floppy drive. remember usb devices are not loaded during bluescreen windows setup. brainstorm; call sister to see if sister has operative floppy drive.

pilfer floppy drive from sister's computer. plug floppy drive in. copy drivers to floppy disk, insert disk. computer cannot locate floppy drive after repeated attempts. telepathically order bill gates to implode.

telephone friend, ask for friend's floppy drive. drive to friend's house; acquire floppy drive; insert floppy drive; connect floppy drive. 'floppy disks fail (40)'. aha! progress (an error message where previously there was just an error). google 'floppy disks fail (40)'. discover idiotic n00b error of connecting floppy drive with upside-down ribbon cable. bare teeth and bite ribbon cable in half; find new ribbon cable; connect pin1 to slot1 in motherboard connection and in floppy drive connection.

reboot for the sixtieth time in two hours. clutch throbbing head.

'cannot find drivers needed to complete installation.' curse. take blood pressure medication.

google, google, google, google, find the drivers actually needed for installation. copy to floppy disk. 'please insert a disk into drive a:'. verify disk is in drive a:. copy drivers to floppy disk. 'please insert a disk into drive a:'. remove failed disk from drive a:; CRUSH WITH FIST. repeat with failed blue floppy disk. repeat with failed yellow floppy disk. weep openly. inquire with wife as to presence of further floppy disks. search with wife for additional floppy disks. locate additional floppy disks. copy to floppy disk. re-reboot. cross fingers. bite very very hard on freeze pop sticks.

GLORY AND TRUMPETS! WINDOWS WORKS! and it only took eighteen hours of my weekend.

now i am the proud new owner of a one-disk raid 0 array! (perhaps the only one in the world)



and now to the other areas of my life:

a close friend introduced me to the gorillaz, and three days later finally located a job that is not awful. karma strikes again.

a close wife has finally located a site containing pictures of a new harry potter movie that is not awful (speculatively).

postsecret remains my source of dark satisfaction. we're all us.

where is:
-my coffee
-where is it


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