misteranthropic » interrobang

hey we found your incomprehensible shroom journal

mAtt — Sun, 19 Jul 2009 00:58:18 +0000

so! whilst we were nearly lost in the wilderness of the eastern oregon blue mountains, on a fool's errand sometimes referred to as 'geocaching,' we came across a truly interesting cache indeed.

not the cache we had set out to find, mind you. the locations to which the satellites directed us were respectively 1) a copse empty of everything except ants and scrub and various droppings, and 2) unreachable except perhaps by helicopter. so that bit didn't pan out as we had planned. but it's hard to imagine finding something more interesting, or stranger, than what we did find out there: the journal you kept and wrote in during those periods of time when your mind was so dissociated from itself that it may as well have been dictated by the actual invisible pink unicorn.

enough of my rambling. i'll let the best of yours speak for itself:

it goes on.

cold, and hot

mAtt — Mon, 05 Jan 2009 01:03:03 +0000

fun fact: the waiting list for denver broncos season tickets is ridiculous, so my apologies to the wife but it looks like your birthday/x-mas presents for at least the next decade will continue not to jump the shark. unless we get in on a wild card berth! which doesn't actually exist, so there we are.

of course, this year's were not so bad, but not so good as to leave no room for improvement.

also! three cheers and a tally-ho for friends' free hot tub! ask him (or his personal financial assistant) how much this 'free' actually costs. go on, i dare you.

mAtt — Tue, 25 Nov 2008 08:25:52 +0000

today i learned the same secret applied independently to two people living on opposite sides of the world.

THE WORLD IS CRAZY and made just a bit smaller by this little knot that ties us all together; this profoundly satisfies me.

mAtt — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 08:00:37 +0000

i have completed my questionablecontent.net bingeing; i did it all in one firefox session; firefox is now using 435k; i did it for science

#316 panel 3 is my life

left hand, meet right hand

mAtt — Sat, 16 Sep 2006 05:23:48 +0000

exactly one fortnight after they finally realize just what in the hell you actually need and deliver the speaker cord connectors (which is about a week after where i left off) you will receive the following email from the (finite number of) monkeys:

'I am sorry that we sent you cables instead of connectors. We will send the connectors ASAP. If you have any further questions or need help with anything, please feel free to contact us again.'

as the connectors have already been in-hand for the last two weeks, this latest will puzzle you. you will turn down the power of your fully armed and operational surround sound station as you momentarily ponder the situation. did this email, like so many of its predecessors, get lost in the jungles of the inter-thing? did it take a wrong turn at 210.174.204.69? was it perhaps sent by the janitors, misbehaving after hours? at any rate you will ignore it and resume your total blissful immersion in sound.

ten days later, you will receive a second set of speaker cord connectors.

postmortem:
after it all, you will have gained two sets of speaker cords, two sets of connectors, and a permanent augmentation to your already overwhelmingly cynical attitude toward modern customer service. oh, and a brand new wrinkle on the skin above your levatorlabii superioris.

you just absolutely have no clue whatsoever

mAtt — Sat, 03 Dec 2005 05:10:51 +0000

it's seriously just this big. i've swallowed pills bigger than this thing. you turn it sideways and it completely disappears.

libido is latin for 'i lust'.

bad albums: a retrospective

mAtt — Sun, 30 Oct 2005 23:43:53 +0000

there's no easy way to jump into this one. this is why, most nights, i cry myself to sleep.

1. mariah carey - music box.
not so much bad as creepy, and exacerbated by the accompanying music videos.

2. korn - (self-titled).
at some point in their lives, each adolescent male will begin to despise life. these guys made it big by composing the soundtrack. almost as creepy as #1.

3. ace of base - the sign.
said to be a favorite of osama bin laden.

4. ace of base - the bridge.
if my satanic baby-eating neighbors were to make an album, it would sound like this, only less evil. in all truth i only own this one because i thought i was returning the one above.

5. tlc - crazy sexy cool.
when word got out that i owned this one, i got beat up. by my mom.

6. arrested development - 3 years 5 months & 2 days in the life of…
apparently in a past life i was a black man from the south who had to deal with racist oppression and homelessness, and i bought an urban r&b rap album to figure out what that might mean. not recommended for children under the age of 200.

7. homestarrunner.com - strong bad coaster.
there is more musical worth in this unplayable piece of hard cardboard than in everything above. and so i find redemption.

strangest search engine hit ever

mAtt — Thu, 22 Sep 2005 02:22:30 +0000

and i quote (er, copy and paste):

"harry potter" disk error -ebay -amazon -ea -xbox -leaky -quotes -copying -ps2

whatever you were searching for, guy from tennessee, i doubt you'll ever, ever find it.

a long talk with my sister ended well when i pawned off a men's underwear catalogue that had no business in our house. reason insists that she will throw it away, but that's not the point. the point was in the fighting over the scantily clad men.

that's right, search engines, i did say SCANTILY CLAD MEN. and sister if i catch you reading this via a search engine, i'm telling mom.

p.s. BRITNEY SPEARS NAKED ONLINE POKER CïA|iS V!ÄGR@ !!!

metaphor

antimAtt — Thu, 14 Apr 2005 16:07:00 +0000

life is hard, but life is harder when

1. you have a dream about a girl named morgan with whom you were once quite taken but have not spoken to in six years and she says to you 'hi, katrina' and you say to her 'hi, steve.'

2. you wake up sitting on the floor downstairs at 4 in the morning without knowing where you are or how you got there.

WHAT IS WRONG WITH THE INTERNET

antimAtt — Fri, 08 Apr 2005 08:27:00 +0000

here's something creepy. do a google image search for gang-sines (the popular drew drawing), and the first result you will see is nothing unexpected.

that is, until you examine the url or click the link. it is this site, and I don't know why. not at all.

so to repeat the sentiments expressed so loudly in the title of this post, WHAT IS WRONG WITH THE INTERNET? I'm serious here. this is creeping me out. google is supposed to be flawless and infallible, and they're not. in a really strange way.

(speaking of really strange: this is)

DREW only your wisdom can shine through these dark times, we require that you tell us just what in the hell is going on.

vividness. fear.

antimAtt — Thu, 27 Jan 2005 09:54:10 +0000

this is fun, in small doses. except for the annoying side effect that I'm now wide awake and buzzing with excitement when I ought not to be.

I vividly fear it'll be some time before I fall asleep again (that's no hallucination).

all things equal, a hallucination is better than reality because it isn't participatory. what a fine line I walk.