Friday 31st December 2004

fatal attraction

in a word, I'm a sucker. for so many things.

a pretty face, shiny hair, a well-shaped neck*. any combination of these will surely stop me in my tracks. there is nothing like a girl and I have no trouble admitting it.

speaking of which. I believe I was flirted with yesterday whilst driving on the highway. I passed a car containing two young ladies. my cruise control was on, so I was going a constant speed. very soon after, this same car passed me and the young lady in the passenger seat looked in my direction with a slight smile on her face. very soon after, the car slowed down dramatically. so I did the logical thing and passed them again. very soon after, they passed me again, and again I got the same sort of corner-of-the-eye-smiley-look. it was all very confusing and I don't know what to make of it. surely they couldn't have been interested in me?—and if they were, what did they expect me to do about it? jump to their vehicle from mine, travelling at over 70 mph? silly girls, I'm no secret agent man.

dreams of late have been disturbing. last night's involved three pals I have who currently reside in thailand. I know the tsunami didn't threaten them; they've contacted me since. but still the troubling dream. I wish I knew whether dreams were based on reality, or pseudo-random (as I tend to think). that's all I'd like to know. it would make waking up a bit easier, sometimes.

this post so far has been brought to you by my desire to come clean. why, and with whom, perhaps I shall never know.

a year ago today I saw a car commercial. it said: 'make no payments till 2004!' (you can't make this stuff up.)

p.s. drew is the world's last bastion of sanity

*or one of the beauties in the victoria's secret catalogue which of course I've never even looked at not even once

posted by antimAtt @ 10.11 (gmt+0000)
to /happiness/silliness/visibleman

Monday 18th October 2004

in my defense, I have been busy

ugh. you ridiculous demanding people, being all ridiculous and demanding things and such.

since last we spoke, I have: gone on a camping trip, run the batteries of the camera down in three pictures, built fires, put out fires, slept in a freezing tent with a too-small sleeping bag and no proper pillow, caught a three-inch fish, washed my hair in a river, driven through a town with its own logo, seen mountains and valleys aplenty, been sick, had headaches, rearranged the contents of my living room, done the dishes, been kissed by a dog, visited old friends, sat down in a bookstore, purchased a future sound of london (link warning: evil flash and less-than-evil noise and lights lie ahead) album, written some conspicuously overdue emails and procrastinat'd many others, sold a laptop computer on ebay whilst simultaneously avoiding internet fraud, watched football (american), watched football (unamerican), been visited by a canadian cousin, eaten ice cream and more ice cream, touched the pacific ocean, thrown a frisbee, watched movies with many friends, eaten homemade quesadillas after midnight, eaten and eaten and eaten, played games and games and games, read books and books and books, not gotten a job, and stayed mostly out of trouble throughout. so I can see that it has indeed been a while, for which you have my apologies.

I have also been thinking of what to give you in the way of photos. since I cannot in good conscience delay this any longer, I might as well get right into it.

well, let's see. in the order they were received:

1 (requested by dan) - dinner (or the aftermath thereof):

stir-fry and ex-brownies.

2 (requested by nmrboy) - something around my house that strikes me as being decidedly out of place:

note the products of intelligentsia on the right side and the products of literati on the left. har.

3 (requested by louise) -
a. my bookshelves:

I have too many of these. they also qualify for part 3c below.

b. my favourite (local) place that makes me feel like getting back to nature:

the wallowa mountains.

is that water clear? the answer is yes.

c. the item(s) I cherish most (wife excluded):

ash nazg durbatuluk.

the future of muzak.


cromulent, with majesty.

d. my wife:

sadly, according to my wife, this is not allowed. this is the best I am allowed do:

4 (requested by lisa to whom I've unfortunately never been introduced) - a girl driving an unbroken black pontiac bonneville, or any other fortunate event I might witness:

this was a toughie. it rather required my carrying the camera about from place to place, and also required lightning-fast reflexes, which I'm told I do not have. the specific item mentioned does not exist in my town, so again, I had to settle for 'the best I could do.' here:

this arrived in the mail today, from my mum. even though it isn't an event per se, you can't ask for more fortunate than this.

this was fun. for me.

p.s. the new recommended daily allowance of future sound of london is now 'yes.'

posted by antimAtt @ 21.28 (gmt+0000)
to /happiness/humans/internet/visibleman

Saturday 22nd May 2004

on disillusionment and hope

'I've seen the world. it's overrated.'

dammit, that exam has had the unexpected side effect of severely disillusioning me. long, long ago I thought I was good at everything, but that was before I had any real challenges. this isn't conceit, mind you. I'm genuinely just figuring out my limits. it's healthy, but healthy hurts. sometimes. really I just need to grow up.

randomly, I here feel the need to interject to all the kids of hatelife just how stupid high school is. high school is the dumbest four years of your life, but seriously, time passes and so will imagined high school angst. I know wisdom is lame and free wisdom doubly so and you're not even reading this anymore but it's true nonetheless.

old laptop is on the outs! I found a sooper-excellent deal on a near-new Dell, and if all goes well, the eBay proceeds from old laptop will cover the cost of new laptop and then some. how pleasantly good and nice when things go my way. I'll show you the auction if and only if you promise to meet my buy-it-now price.

boring honesty: I have determined/discovered something important. I only get gotten down [aside] by things that I don't expect. if I have time to mentally plan for them, bad things don't really bother me. I've mentioned this to other intelligent people who 'know me' and they seem to agree.

it's 2:20 in the morning and stormy outside. inside, though, I am the definition of calm. I am the jedi master. I am a singularity. I am zen itself.

on a scale of one to awesome, I'm pretty great—and the weekend has just begun.

posted by antimAtt @ 2.23 (gmt+0000)
to /happiness/hatelife

Friday 5th March 2004


early afternoon - 21:45 (day 1): sleepy, nappy, irritable
21:45 - 02:30 (day 2): awake, happy, productive
02:30 - 09:55: buzzing with nervous energy; sleep allowed but not possible.
09:55 - 14:00: narcoleptic/dead; sleep possible but not allowed.
14:00 - 23:00: complete detachment; body and world are in two different dimensions.

[ mood | narcoleptic/dead ]


posted by antimAtt @ 9.57 (gmt+0000)
to /hatelife/silliness/unhappiness

Tuesday 16th December 2003

Ladies and gentlemen, finals week is over for Our Hero.

The Dude abides.

posted by antimAtt @ 17.17 (gmt+0000)
to /happiness/hatelife
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