Wednesday 15th February 2012

and that's how i became a man

it is obvious to the observer that my blog presence is on the fast track—slow track? i cannot decide which—to obsolete irrelevance. i offer as evidence the distance between this entry and the prior.

perhaps ironically, the largest contributing factor is an electronic enabler they call "iphone." it's easier now to examine the dark tapestry that is the internet. but since those tiny virtual keys are just so darned hard to press with the precision you know i love, adding new weaves is just that much more difficult.

desks are so 2009½.

other obviously minor factors include (but are not limited to): a certain wee fleshling, being a breadwinner/baconbringer, a thing that increasingly seems not meant to be, twitter, and updating my xfn with a couple of 'met' tags.


i've been told this: when you are telling a story and can sense that you're losing your audience's attention, you should cut your losses: stop talking exactly where you are, and finish by saying "…and then i found twenty dollars."


…and then i found twenty dollars


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Friday 30th April 2010

internets, it is hard to get back in a habit once you are out of the habit.

i have this short story that's been bouncing around in my head on and off for the last .. six years? seven? a hell of a long time. it's mostly written but it will never be done getting written. it rambles and jumps and has no respect for traditional continuity which makes it easy to pick up for an afternoon then set it down for eighteen months, which on the whole guarantees its development will forever be furtive.

i've picked it up semi-permanently this month and done some major rewriting of whole sections, added new material, all kinds of stuff that's really boring for you to hear me talk about but is actually quite exciting for me. i'd like to continue writing but life as a stable, unimpressive adult has a way of causing the creative juices to evaporate at an alarming pace. hopefully talking about it with an update to this blog (which also has some abandonment issues) will help keep me focused on th

ooh! i just remembered! i need to finish the geth incursions assignment in mass effect. see ya, suckers.


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Wednesday 23rd December 2009

the space between

okay, seriously. a lot of the time i complain that i have no idea what's going on, and most of the time it's hyperbole or for dramatic effect or whatever. usually.

lately though, i feel like there's this whole separate universe being played out around me and i'm utterly not a part of it. as though there's a club with a secret entrance code, a code which everyone knows except me, and i'm standing at the entrance struggling to understand why no one let me in on the secret.

tonight, as chelsey and i were discussing how to divvy up amongst my coworkers the cookies she had made, we discovered that there were not enough gift bags to hold all the groups of cookies we wanted to distribute. no big deal, right? we'll just put some of the cookies in nice simple plastic bags and hand them out that way, because it's christmas, and they're cookies, dig?

no. dear me, no. such a thing is not conscionably done.

you see, it's the small things that matter. the cookies need the gift bags. worthless without them. it's not the making of the cookies that matters, not the time it spent with mixing bowl or oven, it's the wrapping of the cookies that matters. it's not the words that you say, it's the tone of voice in which you say them. it's not the thing itself, it's the framing and the context and the gist of the thing. it's this parallel world of undercurrents and subterfuge and small all-important para-things that completely fails to resonate with me, to which i have absolutely no sensitivity.

this is why i fucking hate christmas. do you hear me? hate it hate it, with swear words for emphasis. it's not enough that i think well of you, or that i want nice things for you. it is expected that i spend time in thinking about something you secretly want, that i go out and get it for you, and that i wrap it up and put a bow on it, and turn what would be (at any other time of the year) a gesture of goodwill and potentially unexpected awesomeness into just another thing that is done for its own sake. we've turned what might have once been called the spirit of christmas into a fat lot of empty, expected gestures.

a bit unexpected, admittedly, coming from a guy who prides himself on being mindful of the little things.


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Friday 6th March 2009

obligatory

i'm working a lot these days, and don't have much to say that would be of interest to anyone other than me.

but i do have some things to say, and i'll be saying them to you this weekend, and i'll probably be writing them not from my own house because i'm a little scared of my wife right now and she's temporarily kicked me out of the house so she can work on some brainy paper thingy.

i understand very little of it but she promises me once she's done i can retire and we can move some place warm, and all she requires in the meantime is chocolate and beers! i call that a very good investment.


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Tuesday 27th January 2009

another long, long day

frakkin executives. sometimes i'd swear they think they run the place.

DID I MENTION THE DAY WAS LONG


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Sunday 11th January 2009

the annual company christmas party

ahem. below is a mini-post i had saved back in my insoluble.net days, but had a crisis of conscience (and of employment) about publishing, so it never saw the light of day. it survived The Great Darkness Between The Blogs, and thusly i am able to present it to you now, in all its minimal majesty:

people attending: hundreds
alcohol units consumed: thousands
alcohol units consumed by me: 0.1
alcohol units needed to have enjoyed the band: n
alcohol units needed to kill an adult horse: n+1


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Thursday 8th January 2009

there's more to life than this

i bet even you know the old saying about how when you reach the end of your life, you'll look back on it and not think, 'man, i wish i had spent more time at work.'

in my future i see data mining and analyses and reports, a dancelike feedback loop of things happening, to data, to knowledge, to other things happening. and i'm good at it, dig? so obviously it's what i want to do forever, right?

we come to the point. i tend to do this thing when i encounter something i like: i binge on it, totally saturate myself with it, eventually get turned off, stop liking it. it's an extremely male-brained thing to do. i do it all the time in many and varied parts of my life, but so far, not in any of the really important parts. my fear is that i'll inexorably work my way through all my dream jobs, all those things i'd do for free if i had nothing else to do, in exactly this manner—loved intensely, but shortly, and discarded.

i like my job. i really do. it gives me little fixes of certain things i like (including, not least of which, money). i want to continue liking my job. but the first six weeks of the year are my hell weeks, and i'm definitely smelling the brimstone; i hope this is not the year i discover i forgot to pack my asbestos armor. or my boots of +5 fire resist.

i wonder how long i could string this metaphor along. if i really tried.


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