wenn die matrixrevolutionen AUF DEUTSCH waren:

alles das hat einen anfang hat eine ende—nur würste hat zwei.

"i'm a nice goddam guy."
-steve, [http://www.hatelife.org/s/140361]


"JESUS CHRIST YOU ASSES!"
also
-steve, an old front page

I have translator.dictionary.com to thank for this one.

"JESUS CHRIST SIE ESEL! ES GAB KEINE "BEREINIGUNG"! ES GAB "DIE DATENBANK ZUSAMMENSTIESS VOLLSTONDIG UND STEVE VERBRACHTE DREI UNDANKBARE TAGE SIE EIGENHONDIG UMBAUEND" ABER ES GAB KEINE GROSSE-AUSLASSUNG ODER JEDEN MAGLICHEN ANDEREN UNSINN! ICH KANN NICHT IHNEN GLAUBEN VOLKER! ICH HOFFE DAS DIESE DUMME UNWAHRHEIT DAUERHAFT JETZT ZERSTREUT WIRD."

-steve (would make an excellent angry German)

Stupidity isn't a virus, but it's spreadin like one.
-Sponge Bob Square Pants


I was driving back from the rip-roaring hoohaw of a New Year's party, completely sober [aside: damn my sense of morality] and alone [aside: damn her sense of morality]. I was on the freeway in a middle lane. The driver of a tricked-out Acura, coming up fast behind me, decided that the best thing he could do for his world at that moment in time was to pass me at a speed greater than thirty over the speed limit, cut me off, hit the brakes, get into the right lane, match my speed, roll down his window and give me the finger. While wearing sunglasses and a backward hat and listening to (c)rap music that was loud enough for me to hear through closed passenger-side glass. He yelled something too, but I couldn't make it out over the (c)rap. I read his lips and it looked like he was saying "vugg hue," whatever that means. I think he was German. In German, "vugg hue" means "drivers of tricked-out Acuras are completely stupid."

The point is: if you go to a New Year's party, get utterly drunk. That way you won't have to drive home. Inevitably you'll run into at least one angry German. And no one likes an angry German.