i am a redundant array of independent dorks
the new hard drive arrived wednesday. life was good for ten minutes, then everything went downhill.
as usual i'll tell you what i mean. a) serial ata hard drives have a different power adapter from normal ide hard drives, and b) the proper power connection did not ship with the drive. so i had to find my own $4 adapter to make it work. fun fact: no one in town knows what a serial ata power adapter is. no one, that is, except the obscure little store at the edge of the desert. this is like the kinky fetish outlet of computer hardware stores. and it took me two days to find it because i'm not into kinky computer fetishes. fine, super, hard drive has power.
unplug old hard drives; plug in shiny new hard drive. insert operating system cd. 'dear user: you don't have any hard drives attached.' riiight.
kick spouse off the laptop; access internet; google 'maxtor serial ata hard drive windows xp setup'. fine, super, windows doesn't natively recognize serial ata hard drives. google for sata drivers, download sata drivers. realize floppy drives haven't been required since mid-1990s. snatch spouse's external usb floppy drive. remember usb devices are not loaded during bluescreen windows setup. brainstorm; call sister to see if sister has operative floppy drive.
pilfer floppy drive from sister's computer. plug floppy drive in. copy drivers to floppy disk, insert disk. computer cannot locate floppy drive after repeated attempts. telepathically order bill gates to implode.
telephone friend, ask for friend's floppy drive. drive to friend's house; acquire floppy drive; insert floppy drive; connect floppy drive. 'floppy disks fail (40)'. aha! progress (an error message where previously there was just an error). google 'floppy disks fail (40)'. discover idiotic n00b error of connecting floppy drive with upside-down ribbon cable. bare teeth and bite ribbon cable in half; find new ribbon cable; connect pin1 to slot1 in motherboard connection and in floppy drive connection.
reboot for the sixtieth time in two hours. clutch throbbing head.
'cannot find drivers needed to complete installation.' curse. take blood pressure medication.
google, google, google, google, find the drivers actually needed for installation. copy to floppy disk. 'please insert a disk into drive a:'. verify disk is in drive a:. copy drivers to floppy disk. 'please insert a disk into drive a:'. remove failed disk from drive a:; CRUSH WITH FIST. repeat with failed blue floppy disk. repeat with failed yellow floppy disk. weep openly. inquire with wife as to presence of further floppy disks. search with wife for additional floppy disks. locate additional floppy disks. copy to floppy disk. re-reboot. cross fingers. bite very very hard on freeze pop sticks.
GLORY AND TRUMPETS! WINDOWS WORKS! and it only took eighteen hours of my weekend.
now i am the proud new owner of a one-disk raid 0 array! (perhaps the only one in the world)
and now to the other areas of my life:
a close friend introduced me to the gorillaz, and three days later finally located a job that is not awful. karma strikes again.
a close wife has finally located a site containing pictures of a new harry potter movie that is not awful (speculatively).
postsecret remains my source of dark satisfaction. we're all us.
-where is it