Sunday 5th October 2008

another onion headline from my own imaginary future:

mccain campaign releases ad linking tina fey to terrorists, mafia, illuminati, o.j. simpson


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Wednesday 1st October 2008

coming to an onion headline near you:

STONED PAULSON ORDERS 700 BILLION BEAN BURRITOS


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Sunday 27th July 2008

rhetorical imperative:

ask me about the time i went on holiday and visited amsterdam and smoked things.

</red herring>


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Thursday 10th April 2008

i can factor prime numbers of arbitrary size

IN MY HEAD


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Saturday 1st March 2008

you can't tell me my vehicle isn't environmentally friendly; it gets ninety miles per gallon.

of uranium.


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Monday 16th October 2006

the next item on my future list of things i never did

okay, hold me to this one:

my plan is to find a suitable hypno-meditation track, slice it up into very small bits, then rearrange the bits into ridiculous hilarity.


i've already downloaded a couple to get me started:

deepak chopra - stop procrastinating and start speed reading all of deepak chopra's books.mp3

reiki - sounds of nature - kittens falling on cedars.mp3

alan greenspan - the_resolution_of_our_current_account_deficit_and_household_debt_
burdens_does_not_strike_me_as_overly_worrisome_but_that_is_certainly_not_the_case_for_
our_fiscal_deficit_which_according_to_the_congressional_budget_office_will_rise_significantly_
as_the_baby_boomers_start_to_retire_in_2008_our_fiscal_prospects_are_in_my_judgment_a_
significant_obstacle_to_long_term_stability_because_the_budget_deficit_is_not_readily_subject_
to_correction_by_market_forces_that_stabilize_other_imbalances_(ADVANCE)_BY_M@ddog.mp3


the internet is our collective muse.


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Saturday 7th October 2006

i have bad news and i have good news

the bad news is that germany invaded poland and plunged the world into war.

the good news is that it happened in 1939, and it's all over by now.

the rest of the good news is that the internet is awesome.


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