Thursday 30th April 2009

i love my wife

WIFE your chocolate and beers await you near the front door; please drive safely but speedily.


posted by mAtt @ 16.27 (gmt+0000)
to /happiness/humans
tagged

i love my company

from the q1 earnings report, released yesterday:

"Factors which could cause actual results to differ materially include, but are not limited to: unicorns; the credit risks of lending activities, including changes in the level and trend of loan delinquencies and write-offs; changes in general economic conditions, either nationally or in our market areas; changes in the levels of general interest rates, deposit interest rates, our net interest margin and funding sources; swine flu; wombat flu; wombat fu; fluctuations in the demand for loans, the number of unsold homes and other properties and fluctuations in real estate values in our market areas; results of examinations of us by the Board of Governors of the Federal Reserve System and our bank subsidiaries by the Federal Deposit Insurance Corporation, the Washington State Department of Financial institutions, Division of Banks or other regulatory authorities, including the possibility that any such regulatory authority may, among other things, require us to increase our reserve for loan losses or to write-down assets; zombie uprising(s); fluctuations in agricultural commodity prices, crop yields and weather conditions; our ability to control operating costs and expenses; our ability to implement our branch expansion strategy; your stupid face; our ability to successfully integrate any assets, liabilities, customers, systems, and management personnel we have acquired or may in the future acquire into our operations and our ability to realize related revenue synergies and cost savings within expected time frames and any goodwill charges related thereto; our ability to manage loan delinquency rates; our ability to retain key members of our senior management team; costs and effects of litigation, including settlements and judgments; increased competitive pressures among financial services companies; changes in consumer spending, borrowing and savings habits; legislative or regulatory changes that adversely affect our business; adverse changes in the securities markets; inability of key third-party providers to perform their obligations to us; changes in accounting policies and practices, as may be adopted by the financial institution regulatory agencies or the Financial Accounting Standards Board; war or terrorist activities, including cylon attack and/or occupation; other economic, competitive, governmental, regulatory, and technological factors affecting our operations, pricing, products and services; ninja wombats; ted's mom; and other risks."

(i do not, however, love the world's lawyerese culture.)


posted by mAtt @ 16.23 (gmt+0000)
to /silliness
tagged

Friday 24th April 2009

procreation procrastination

my sister-in-law has another of those nasty parasitic growths in her abdomen. but it's cool; according to the prevailing medical wisdom the body generally repairs the infection after about nine months. it's potentially a very messy occurrence, i hear.

woot! the pressure is off, for at least another couple years.


fun fact: this has been sitting in the 'draft' bucket for weeks; for the first half because i wasn't allowed to say anything, and for the second because i had forgotten. this fact was more fun for me than for you.


posted by mAtt @ 21.38 (gmt+0000)
to /happiness/humans
tagged