Saturday 22nd May 2004

on disillusionment and hope

'I've seen the world. it's overrated.'

dammit, that exam has had the unexpected side effect of severely disillusioning me. long, long ago I thought I was good at everything, but that was before I had any real challenges. this isn't conceit, mind you. I'm genuinely just figuring out my limits. it's healthy, but healthy hurts. sometimes. really I just need to grow up.

randomly, I here feel the need to interject to all the kids of hatelife just how stupid high school is. high school is the dumbest four years of your life, but seriously, time passes and so will imagined high school angst. I know wisdom is lame and free wisdom doubly so and you're not even reading this anymore but it's true nonetheless.

old laptop is on the outs! I found a sooper-excellent deal on a near-new Dell, and if all goes well, the eBay proceeds from old laptop will cover the cost of new laptop and then some. how pleasantly good and nice when things go my way. I'll show you the auction if and only if you promise to meet my buy-it-now price.

boring honesty: I have determined/discovered something important. I only get gotten down [aside] by things that I don't expect. if I have time to mentally plan for them, bad things don't really bother me. I've mentioned this to other intelligent people who 'know me' and they seem to agree.

it's 2:20 in the morning and stormy outside. inside, though, I am the definition of calm. I am the jedi master. I am a singularity. I am zen itself.

on a scale of one to awesome, I'm pretty great—and the weekend has just begun.

posted by antimAtt @ 2.23 (gmt+0000)
to /happiness/hatelife

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