freedom, it certainly is Wednesday night.

I certainly am a bit indulgent tonight it seems.

it's probably not a good thing that I only have one class on Thursdays because that's the day that I (theoretically) have a lot of time to do things but it's (practically) the day that I feel I can get away with doing nothing. therfore I have the right to do a few 1.25-ounch curls.

where does all this Dido music come from? why does she only sing when I'm had a couple?

DIDO
HOW DO YOU ALWAYS SEEM TO KNOW WHEN I'VE BEEN DRINKING
YOU"RE FREAKING ME OUT STOP IT STOP IT

OH YOU'RE GOING TO SING ME SOME NICE MELLOW MOOD-Y SONGS YOU SAY? WHY DID YOU NOT SAY SO OF COURSE YOU CAN STAY HERE HAVE A SHOT OR TWO. I'M PRETTY FAR AHEAD OF YOU, HERE YOU'D BETTER HAVE AT LEAST FOUR

too many caps in a row

jim_ never comes around anymore. it's a shame. I'm addicted and I need my fix.

poems write themselves in my head. if I close all my eyes I can see them all with my mental open eye, like on a chalkboard in a world that only I can go to.

I've started meditating agani. I can't remember exactly when or why I stopped. perhaps it wasn't a strong enough habit for me, but NEVER FEAR HATELIFE it's back on now .

I've learned more about lelia in the last two days than I did in most all of the days before that. but I'm not the kind of guy wh goes around telling people about things like that.

sorry, lelia, but this time it's true, and I really have to tell you that everything I have said so far in this post has been under the influence so I might reserve the right to take it back in the morning OH WAIT I can't because edits are extinct, maybe we used them too much and steve put them on the endangered features list and they need to repopulate for a bit.

why is my head so heavy? mabye I overpaid the gravity bill this month so they gave me too much, who knows. HA that's a joke, everybody knows the gravity bill comes every other month

DIDO please sing mary's in india, that one gets me weepy every time

I'm glad justjane is back. something was different when she was gone and I think her time away has changed her. she seems more serious now, but what do I know. mabye it's me who has changed. I haven't been away or anything but the point is people change and I'm people too.

comfortable love is a strange thing. I used to be crazy in love, and I still am, but it's much more mellow now and I like it but I want the crazy love back at the same time. perhaps this is just my male uber-mating instinct kicking in.

<male uber-mating instinct> GOD DAMN IT you've been with the same woman for three years now MOVE ON, MAN
<matt> but we're in love, we're getting married, marriage is permanent!
<male uber-mating instinct> marriage schmarriage, don't make me cut off the blood to your testicles!
<matt> ow, ow! the thought of that hurts
<male uber-mating instinct> that will teach you! let's go to a bar and hit on some sexy coeds and DAMMIT remember your ID this time, you don't llook a day over sixteen
<matt> NO it is Wednesday night and I must be productive tomorrow
<male uber-mating instinct> there's no cover charge on Wednesday and all the taxis in town know about it!
<matt> I'll get my wallet!
*** matt has left channel #sobriety

the point being that it's sad that the crazy love of nineteen inevitably turns into the comfortable love of twenty-two.

DIDO please play who makes you feel, that song fits my mood just now (thank you dido for living for free with your band inside my computer, you are a lifesaver)

david zilban where have you gone, you poor little emo kid, goth, whatever the hell you were you made me laugh.

NO NO NO NO matt this cannot turn into a plea for replies, we did that already

DIDO please skip to the hidden track of see the sun, that part of the album is really what Ilike to call dope

freedom, I'm manic depressive only they like to call it bipolar these days, I think because manic sounds like maniac and maniac has some negative connotations, but anwyay the point is that alcohol makes it more obvious that I'm manic depressive. I don't think Iv'e ever mentioned this on hatelife YOU SHOULD FEEL HONORED



consciousness fading

cncoses fdn

ccss fn

cs f

-

tell dido thanks.

I love you all so very much.







*** matt has left channel #consciousness