Friday 20th June 2003

and now for something completely related

It's good to be back. For uninteresting reasons, I've been without Internet access for the last week or so. I've had to go across the street to my semi-friend's house to mooch e-mail time. It's the small things you miss.

Thursday. Bachelor party for homeboy. I've never had so much fun in my life. We—I and the flatmates—got him to do the dishes at our apartment, which was a boon for us because it had previously been D's turn to do them for about a month. We called that a learning experience, or something to that effect. While he was in the kitchen, we were in the living room playing XBox. THEN we got him to get into his Speedo, which he inexplicably loves, and run through the gigantic sprinklers in a field by our place. Cameras materialized. At least one was not ours. THEN we got him to buy a box of condoms and a single banana at the supermarket. The look on the cashier's face was truly classic. THEN we took him to the batting cages. No prank involved here, just good clean fun. THEN we went to the good ole pub and he did manly things like sing "I'm Every Woman" by Whitney Houston at the karaoke machine. I swear that if there had been just a couple more people there, or if they had been slightly more sober, they would have booed us out of the building. They came close as it was. THEN we took him to a casino, where we played the extremely low-stakes games, each starting with two dollars exactly. One member of our party got crazy lucky at the poker machine and walked out with $21.20, for a total return of 1060%. Not bad for ninety minutes' work, but too bad he didn't start with, say, $2000 rather than $2. Anyway. THEN we took the groom-to-be home to sleep away the effects of the night's carousing and rip-roaring hoo haw, while I (heretofore the designated driver) and some remaining mates said hello to our old friend Crown Royal.

Friday. Just a blur. Not that I would have accomplished much, anyway.

Saturday. My best friend, the brother of my graduating-from-college flatmate, arrived in town. We stayed up way too late and were way too tired for …

… Sunday. Woman graduates. I ask The Question to her parents while they're in town, and Oh Thank God they say yes. They said they liked me (though in many more words) and it truly was encouraging in the best possible way. I just can't express how relieved I am to have that damned tradition out of the way.

Tuesday. Left early early early to drive a long long way to catch an early early flight. Did you know that being in an airplane that refuses to warm up can cause insanity? Neither did I. I learned something that day.

Wednesday. Renewed driver's license. I walked in and took a number. The number read "76"; the ever-helpful members of the Deptartment Of Transportation were "Now serving: 27". I wanted to die. I almost did, several times, after 60.

Thursday. Drove all night with multiple family members to arrive at my summer job location this morning (Friday). *deep sigh*

It seems whatever brief summer vacation I was granted this year was swallowed up by drink. My friends are all getting married. It's depressing, and now I'm tired and want to sleep. Forever, if possible.

posted by antimAtt @ 23.46 (gmt+0000)
to /entertainment/happiness/hatelife/humans

Wednesday 11th June 2003

da da da done

Precisely one minute ago I finished typing The Last Essay Ever. I'm going to go turn it in now. As soon as the essay leaves my hot little hand, the school year will be freakin' over. By the end of the day it will be summer again. The way God meant it to be. I'm wearing my Che shirt in celebration.

posted by antimAtt @ 12.18 (gmt+0000)
to /happiness/hatelife

Tuesday 10th June 2003

..and in the darkness bind them

I bought the ring today. The One Ring. To rule them all. If you know what I mean.

Does this mean I'm no longer a kid? Officially? Is this the algorithm they use to decide? If so, then it seems my childhood was something of a letdown.

Random thought: if I had a time machine, I (like Strong Bad) wouldn't go forward. I'd go back to where I know I'm still awesome. And still a kid.

Now playing: the dishwasher.

posted by antimAtt @ 16.09 (gmt+0000)
to /happiness/hatelife/humans


My sister at the seashore, spellbound by her first glimpse of ocean.

A soft rain on a spring day, on a walk that was the last walk I would take in the place I love.

Steam rising from a lake in the early morning.

Sunlight in long angles through the window, igniting the dust in the air in the late afternoon.

The top of a mountain, with valley falling away on all sides.

Three boys swimming in the river in summertime.

Red hair over a beautiful, intelligent face, mischievous, playful, titillating, promising. The bright petals of an iris, held by her. I touch her cheek.

The first night of July, when I lay in the grass and the air moved and the meteors fell from the sky. And the stars slowly fading the next morning.

posted by antimAtt @ 15.07 (gmt+0000)
to /composition/happiness/hatelife

Sunday 8th June 2003

hatin' life.

I was forced into doing homework on a Saturday night. It's sad. I'm sad. No, wait. I'm PISSED OFF. HELL. I want to be five years old again. I want to have a treehouse in my backyard again. (Hell, I want a backyard again.) Maybe if we all ignore finals, they'll go away. I'm game. Yeah! Screw finals! Who's with me? Anyone anyone?

I've decided my life is meaningless. I'll tell you the premises that lead me to this conclusion.

Life to me consists of the following cycle:

1. Learn things until finals week.
2. Prove you've learned something.
3. Get happy and drunk for a week.
4. Sleep it off.
5. Proceed to next classes.
6. Lather, rinse, repeat.

And it follows that my life is meaningless. Quod erat demonstrandum.

Hold on a second: that means that my life is circular instead of linear. Therefore either a) I'm stuck in a time warp, or b) I'll never die, since death is the end of one's life line.

Oh. Third option: I'm stupid and it's late and logic doesn't work for me when I'm stupid and it's late. Forget it. Never mind.


I started a green journal with my significant other. I write something in it and give it to her, then she writes something in it and gives it to me, etc. It's tremendously useful in a somewhat sentimental way. It's good for people who self-express much better through written words than face-to-face. Like me, for example. I recommend it wholeheartedly.

Now I'm off to bed without my supper. And without a party and with only a single shot. What has my life become? Oh, that's right. It's meaningless. It all comes back to me.

Now playing: The Smashing Pumpkins - Daphne Descends. Best. Song. Ever.

posted by antimAtt @ 1.19 (gmt+0000)
to /hatelife/unhappiness

Friday 6th June 2003

things are not what they seem.

Well huh. The dreaded 350-page monster book turned out to be arguably the best story I've ever read. It's called "Atonement" and it's written by Ian McEwen. Drop everything and buy it. At very least, borrow it from the library. Holy wow. I had to take a few minutes out of my schedule just to weep at it. It's beautiful. Verily I say to you, there's truth in that book. Truth and love and some freaky sort of magic. I wish I had written it. (I wish I had written this post before I stayed up all night. For the third time this week.)

posted by antimAtt @ 10.16 (gmt+0000)
to /entertainment/happiness/hatelife

Tuesday 3rd June 2003

"Oh one more thing."
-Jim Morrison

One more thing: happy birthday, me. What? A few days late? Oh.

Hell. I have to read and anotate a 350-page book basically tonight. Equals no sleep for Matt. Hell. I hate this end-of-year catching up. It makes me roll my eyes. It makes me want to cry myself to sleep, actually. But wait—no sleep for Matt; that was the deal.

"Shut up. Stop whining." / "Yes, Matt."

Now playing: Disturbed - Remember. Mood-fitting.

posted by antimAtt @ 1.19 (gmt+0000)
to /happiness/hatelife/unhappiness
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